Curiosity Gets You Laid
by Rachel Spy
Summary: Hermione wants to know how they control it. PWP, kind of AU, OOCness, Hogwartsesque, random.


**DISCLAIMER: **Harry Potter and company are owned by J.K. Rowling and her affiliates. Not me. Pssh. If it did belong to me, Hermione would be preggers with Draco's fourth child already. I am shameless. XP

**Author's Note and Warnings**: AU, somewhat, PWP, basically, just another crazy idea that hit me. I understand that it might not make much sense at all, but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway. Also, they are pretty OOC, just so you know.

Hermione was quite curious about the inner workings of the opposite sex.

She was especially intrigued about how they managed to control their… well, happy moments.

Being the protégé that she was, of course she knew that it was said males experienced erections every ninety minutes. Well, Hermione wanted to know how they managed to tame it, so to speak.

It was perfectly reasonable during the school year, because the Hogwarts robes were quite roomy and would easily hide any signs of arousal among its male population. Then again, what about the hotter months?

Hermione was very curious indeed.

So, unable to stand her curiosity any longer, she set off to discover the secrets of controlling the penis.

Her first victim: Ronald Weasley. She had decided that he was a logical choice because he was blunt and despite having the tendency of turning red as a tomato at the mere mention of intimate subjects, Hermione was sure that he would have at least a morsel of useful information.

She cornered him after lunch.

Being Hermione Granger, she got straight to the point. There was no time to waste on subtlety.

"Ron, how do you control your erections?"

Ron blanched. "W-W-What was that?" he spluttered.

Hermione sighed, exasperated. "You heard me. How. Do. You. Control. Your. Ee-Rec-Shuns?" she repeated, making sure to pronounce each word carefully.

She watched amusedly as Ron's face turned a color that put his hair to shame.

"Well, honestly, I'm not the right bloke to go to for this kind of thing, and… Gottagobye!"

With that, he was off.

Hermione sighed. _Now_ who was she to turn to? Harry was nowhere to be found, and even Hermione did not feel quite comfortable going up to any old guy, and to ask such a personal question to.

She had depended on Ron's speak-before-thinking way of conversing for a quick answer, but she supposed that she shouldn't have expected much. It was Ron, after all. She loved the boy (in an absolutely platonic way--they had had a brief relationship the previous year, but Hermione felt as if she was kissing her brother), but he was most certainly not one for these kinds of discussions, now that she thought about it.

It was better to go to a manslut, such as Draco Malfoy.

It took Hermione only ten minutes to find Draco and intimidate him into a closet, so they could have some privacy and not have to worry about being seen with each other.

Once again, she got straight to the point, pun intended. "Malfoy, how do you control your erections?"

As expected, Draco was unfazed by the question. With a smirk, he replied, "You really want to know?"

Hermione nodded. "If I didn't, why would I ask? And you of all people?" she retorted.

Draco snorted. "Granger, don't even try that on me. You came to me because you want to see me…"

He leaned closer to her, until Hermione could feel his breath against her neck.

"_Naked._"

Hermione's breath hitched. The smarmy git.

Draco chuckled, retreating. "Just having a bit of fun with you, Granger. Anyway, why do you want to know? Finally gotten bored of just reading texts?"

Hermione scowled at him. "For your information, _Malfoy_," she said, spitting out his name as if it had a foul taste to it, "I am doing this solely out of curiosity, and if you're not going to cooperate, then I am sure there are more suitable males to ask. After all, who knows if you even have one?"

It was Draco's turn to scowl. "You'll regret that," he growled, before pulling her close so that their hips met.

Hermione gasped. She was made painstakingly aware that he did indeed have one. And it seemed to be very awake at the moment.

"Now, what was that you just said?" Draco smirked at her, his grey eyes gleaming with mischief.

"Let me go!" Hermione exclaimed weakly. She hated to admit it, but she was actually quite enjoying the close proximity.

Draco only chuckled, shaking his head. "I don't think so, Granger. I'm going to make you eat your words."

With a raise of his pale brows, he added, "And other things, if you're good."

Then he proceeded to devour her mouth with his.

Their tongues met, circling each other in a dance for dominance. It was a messy kiss, the room was too small, and Hermione could feel herself falling, but both were enjoying the other too much to care about anything else

When they finally came up for air, both were panting and tousled.

"Come with me, Hermione," Draco whispered, his lips brushing softly, teasingly, against a spot just behind her ear.

"I'll answer your question with a demonstration."

Hermione couldn't resist. How could she say no? She really did want to know, after all.

For the first time, her curiousity was getting her laid. A smirk worthy of a Malfoy flitted across her features.

"Only if you let me be on top."


End file.
